Pursuing goals and conquering fear

I'll be embarking on my next 50 mile race in a couple weeks (May 10th to be exact) and I must admit I've been a bit fixated on it. I've been planning... plan b-ing.... making lists, and visualizing. This has impacted my training runs and my sleep. I know that sounds odd.... I think it's because I have a specific goal in mind and I tend to put a bit of pressure on myself. Do you ever do that too?

I have had the pleasure of helping some friends see through personal goals themselves and I've smiled and loved every minute... or mile. Yet, fear is closing in as my goal gets closer to reality. Why is it that helping others reach goals is much different than accomplishing your own?

I've run this far before, but races are never guaranteed, especially at this distance. Would anyone think less of me if I were to DNF (did not finish).... I doubt it especially when I had the courage to start. But the brain plays games... especially with a perfectionist.

I hope to be enough.... I hope to smile while accomplishing my goal. But what is the true goal?
             to finish
             to reach out and encourage others
             to enjoy the trail and connect with nature
             to stay tough even when things get hard

What I find with my fear... if I talk myself through all scenarios... if I plan, re-plan, and accept outcomes the fear becomes less. Have you read the story "Henry y el terrible quiensabeque" It's a story where a boy finds a big monster and the more he confronts this scary thing... the smaller it becomes, until it finally disappears. Hopefully this post is me diminishing the "quensabeque" ("what's it")

I will embark on a 50 mile journey. I will have my mom and oldest sister on trail and I will LOVE that I can push my limits. I can smile knowing uncertainty is natural and means I'm not living my comfort zone. I am growing... changing... and testing my limits.

Thank you for accepting me where I'm at in this journey today, fear included. I'll report back in in a couple of weeks. Win, lose, or DNF I will keep pushing past my limits and comfort zone... conquering fear and pursuing my goals.

Celebrating with Others

 

This past weekend I ran the St. Louis half marathon. I ran it simply to celebrate an accomplishment of a fellow running buddy. Ashley started running last year and set her sights on a half marathon. Jessica and I said "pick the race and we'll be there." Ashley chose the Go St. Louis half marathon... a birthday run for her!

 
 
See the details of the fun trip below:
 
The trip down to St. Louis was fun and easy. We stopped in their old college stomping ground for lunch and then continued on. Once we were in the race city we went to the packet-pick and Expo. This was in the basketball stadium at the local university. We grabbed our packets and shopped around for a bit. Ashley of course picked up her new 13.1 sticker and we all grabbed some fun headbands.
 

 
 
 

 
 
Then we had quite the adventure trying to meet other runners at the Spaghetti Factory. There was road construction and lots of traffic. About an hour late... we made it to dinner. Had a great time with Stephanie and Crystal (running marathon and half respectively) as we fueled for the next morning.
 
Easy... fun evening!
 
The race:

Our hotel was within a 1/2 mile of the starting line. This made the morning a breeze. We got up, dressed, and walked to the starting corals. Ashley looked ready even if she was feeling nervous. Jessica and I were there, encouraging and equally excited for the next few hours.
 
Race began at 7:00 and we headed out decked out in purple outfits and big smiles. We soon found out that the course was hilly.... not just the "Holy Hill" section we were already prepared for. We stayed conservative with our pace and chit-chatted/enjoyed running in a new city. There was a constant flow of runners and sporadic spectators. We passed by the arch.... sports stadiums, a cute farmers market, and a huge brewery. I was snapping pictures as best I could while running :) (I really need a camera that just attaches to my hat or chest!)

 
At mile 6 we crossed new timing mats for the 2 mile section called "Holy Hill." This was actually a 2 mile stretch of about 3 major hills. You would get to the top of one and think "wow, that wasn't that bad" to see as soon as you went down you were climbing once again. We all ran the hills like champs!
 
The hilly course did take a toll and Jessica and I stayed positive because we knew how well Ashley could do. It's awesome when on course... sometimes things come up that give you a push when you need it most. Sometimes it's a spectator cheering you on by name, or a snowcap candy at an aid station.... for Ashley it was a sip of beer a couple miles from the finish! :)
 
Her goal was to run her first half marathon in under 2:30 and we finished in 2:18.01! She finished with a smile and a double thumbs up!
 
It was a great time to just enjoy her accomplishment! It is amazing what the body can do when you say yes. It's also fulfilling to help someone else reach a goal and to celebrate with them.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Extra pics if you want to check them out:

Flat stanley was on course!

Steph(Bday run) and Beth (1st marathon) 

Buildings around brewery

 

All smiles over half way through

pura vida on the course

13.1 done... great day

Sneaky pics

on course early on

Downtown St. Louis