Pursuing goals and conquering fear

I'll be embarking on my next 50 mile race in a couple weeks (May 10th to be exact) and I must admit I've been a bit fixated on it. I've been planning... plan b-ing.... making lists, and visualizing. This has impacted my training runs and my sleep. I know that sounds odd.... I think it's because I have a specific goal in mind and I tend to put a bit of pressure on myself. Do you ever do that too?

I have had the pleasure of helping some friends see through personal goals themselves and I've smiled and loved every minute... or mile. Yet, fear is closing in as my goal gets closer to reality. Why is it that helping others reach goals is much different than accomplishing your own?

I've run this far before, but races are never guaranteed, especially at this distance. Would anyone think less of me if I were to DNF (did not finish).... I doubt it especially when I had the courage to start. But the brain plays games... especially with a perfectionist.

I hope to be enough.... I hope to smile while accomplishing my goal. But what is the true goal?
             to finish
             to reach out and encourage others
             to enjoy the trail and connect with nature
             to stay tough even when things get hard

What I find with my fear... if I talk myself through all scenarios... if I plan, re-plan, and accept outcomes the fear becomes less. Have you read the story "Henry y el terrible quiensabeque" It's a story where a boy finds a big monster and the more he confronts this scary thing... the smaller it becomes, until it finally disappears. Hopefully this post is me diminishing the "quensabeque" ("what's it")

I will embark on a 50 mile journey. I will have my mom and oldest sister on trail and I will LOVE that I can push my limits. I can smile knowing uncertainty is natural and means I'm not living my comfort zone. I am growing... changing... and testing my limits.

Thank you for accepting me where I'm at in this journey today, fear included. I'll report back in in a couple of weeks. Win, lose, or DNF I will keep pushing past my limits and comfort zone... conquering fear and pursuing my goals.

Celebrating with Others

 

This past weekend I ran the St. Louis half marathon. I ran it simply to celebrate an accomplishment of a fellow running buddy. Ashley started running last year and set her sights on a half marathon. Jessica and I said "pick the race and we'll be there." Ashley chose the Go St. Louis half marathon... a birthday run for her!

 
 
See the details of the fun trip below:
 
The trip down to St. Louis was fun and easy. We stopped in their old college stomping ground for lunch and then continued on. Once we were in the race city we went to the packet-pick and Expo. This was in the basketball stadium at the local university. We grabbed our packets and shopped around for a bit. Ashley of course picked up her new 13.1 sticker and we all grabbed some fun headbands.
 

 
 
 

 
 
Then we had quite the adventure trying to meet other runners at the Spaghetti Factory. There was road construction and lots of traffic. About an hour late... we made it to dinner. Had a great time with Stephanie and Crystal (running marathon and half respectively) as we fueled for the next morning.
 
Easy... fun evening!
 
The race:

Our hotel was within a 1/2 mile of the starting line. This made the morning a breeze. We got up, dressed, and walked to the starting corals. Ashley looked ready even if she was feeling nervous. Jessica and I were there, encouraging and equally excited for the next few hours.
 
Race began at 7:00 and we headed out decked out in purple outfits and big smiles. We soon found out that the course was hilly.... not just the "Holy Hill" section we were already prepared for. We stayed conservative with our pace and chit-chatted/enjoyed running in a new city. There was a constant flow of runners and sporadic spectators. We passed by the arch.... sports stadiums, a cute farmers market, and a huge brewery. I was snapping pictures as best I could while running :) (I really need a camera that just attaches to my hat or chest!)

 
At mile 6 we crossed new timing mats for the 2 mile section called "Holy Hill." This was actually a 2 mile stretch of about 3 major hills. You would get to the top of one and think "wow, that wasn't that bad" to see as soon as you went down you were climbing once again. We all ran the hills like champs!
 
The hilly course did take a toll and Jessica and I stayed positive because we knew how well Ashley could do. It's awesome when on course... sometimes things come up that give you a push when you need it most. Sometimes it's a spectator cheering you on by name, or a snowcap candy at an aid station.... for Ashley it was a sip of beer a couple miles from the finish! :)
 
Her goal was to run her first half marathon in under 2:30 and we finished in 2:18.01! She finished with a smile and a double thumbs up!
 
It was a great time to just enjoy her accomplishment! It is amazing what the body can do when you say yes. It's also fulfilling to help someone else reach a goal and to celebrate with them.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Extra pics if you want to check them out:

Flat stanley was on course!

Steph(Bday run) and Beth (1st marathon) 

Buildings around brewery

 

All smiles over half way through

pura vida on the course

13.1 done... great day

Sneaky pics

on course early on

Downtown St. Louis

Paleozoic 50k

This past Saturday I had the joy of running the Paleozoic 50k in Palos Park, Illinois. It was a wonderful day for many reasons and I'll expand on it all below. But I first have to mention that I ran this race to enjoy time with my running buddy Jessica on her first 50k. I told her pick the race and I'll be there. It's just so amazing that she picked a race that I truly love because of the awesome race directors.

**** quick back story**** I previously vowed to match running/volunteering at races in at least a 1:1 ratio. So last fall I volunteered at the Paleozoic Carboniferous Fall event. I didn't know Bill or Michelle prior to this day. I went, without knowing anyone, and was quickly welcomed to the team and put to work. In fact I was put as an aid station captain! I LOVED my time connecting with Michelle and her sister. It was a perfect day. It helped me realize I can share my joy with others and step out of my comfort zone and connect with new people. Even if it is over Ultra snacks and refilling water bottles.

So when I knew Jessica was considering the spring event as her 50k I was thrilled. I quickly emailed Bill that I unfortunately could not volunteer at the spring event because I would be RUNNING it! The moment we picked up our packets I knew she picked the perfect race. The personal touches really show the special character of the RDs. If I wasn't already smiling in the car, I was definitely smiling pinning on my bib.
 

Pre-race smiles

 
 
 
 
 (Note the personalized
messages on our packets!)













Now the race was a day full of laughter, shrieks, slips, falls, challenges, and ultra success.

The course was set as an out and back that you completed twice to make up the 31 miles. The 50k runners took off just after 8:30. It was a brisk morning and quickly into the run we noticed there was quite a bit of ice. This presented a slippery challenge. We were able to maneuver the thick ice steadily.





Jessica tackling the water pit



my turn

There were patches of clear trail leading up to a large patch of standing water. There was no way around it so we went full in and got out feet (and a good portion of our shins) soaked. This was about 4 miles into the course. It was a cold wake up and we laughed knowing we would have to pass through it 3 more times. The "out" of the course was tough with several inclines and the aforementioned ice. At about 7.5 miles we reached the turnaround aid station.







We were warmly greeted by Jennifer and Rich.
They shared words of encouragement, posed for a pic,
and offered plenty of delicious snacks.
We quickly grabbed supplies and headed back to the start/finish aid stations.

We thankfully found out that the "back" portion of the course seemed quite a bit easier and we were keeping great time. It was warming up a bit and the ice was turning into sludge and mud. We were still able to maneuver the terrain with minimal slips and falls. The freezing water once again brought about shrieks and laughter.



Hitting the home aid station we knew we wanted to make a quick turnaround so we wouldn't be temped to sit. Once again we were greeted by amazing volunteers and some cheering spectators. The snacks were perfect, the drinks were cold, and it all hit the spot, especially the lemon cookies and snow caps.

 

Back out we went but to our surprise the course seemed completely different. The hills were the same, but the ice was now sludge and more mud. I kept saying "The out is the hard part.... let's just get to the Rich and Jennifer." There were a couple of rough miles but Jessica pushed on. (Again, just so proud). We had thought we may need to re-think the 7 hour goal but she would finish.

I could go on and on about the course and each mile, but I won't. (It really is hard to describe it and really do it justice)

 We hit the aid station, filled bottles, had more snacks and friendly chatter with the awesome volunteers and knew we could make it 7 more miles to the end.

Jessica seemed to hit her stride. Even though the mud, it was much easier heading back to the finish. The pace picked up and when we were a couple miles out, I let Jessica know we could get there under 7 hours. It would be close... but definitely possible. She perked right up and we had our fastest mile to finish the race. Jessica crossed the line with her husband and best friend waiting for her. We were all clapping and cheering for the special moment. She did it.... and ultra! (In 6hours and 55 min too... under 7 hours)

For me, I had the most amazing experience. I found how truly blessed I was to be able to encourage, support, and help someone else meet a goal. I loved pacing and pushing my buddy. The miles were easy mentally knowing I was there to stay positive and help someone else. I hope others will allow me to take a journey with them (ultra or outside of my sneakers).

I felt so alive on the trail. Find what makes you feel alive and do it as often as possible.

So if anyone wants to make Paleo a 50k goal... I'll be more than happy to run it with you in the spring of 2015.... as for their fall event, I'll be volunteering :)


**** Cannot thank Bill and Michelle enough. They put on a top notch event and make everyone feel special. Each runner matters and their energy is just contagious. They make you want to keep coming back and getting more involved. ****

(I forgot to hit record so I had to try again ;) All for the blog right?!?!?!)

The Change Up

Have you ever had the feeling that something is just not working..... drained by the everyday routine.... maybe it's time for a change up.

I love to run... I run almost every day, but lately I haven't felt like I'm seeing the major improvements I'd like as I'm training for my next 50 mile race. When the improvements are so minor it is easy for me to get frustrated and question my training and journey.

Does this mean I give up and quit running... nope, not at all. I can stop, evaluate, adjust, and make things enjoyable for the long run. More cross training, weights, tempos, and speedwork?

One day last week, I decided to grab my swim cap and goggles and headed to the pool instead of the run. This switch in training activity gave me renewed energy. It was quiet and calm. I'm not an amazing swimmer by any means, but I smiled throughout my workout and felt right where I needed to be.

And you know what... my weekend runs following the change up were incredibly enjoyable. I've continued to switch out some of my regular workouts with pool time. I am still in training for the upcoming race and think I'll always over analyze my training and if I'll meet/surpass my goals. However, changing things up a bit have kept me from simply trying to "make it work" with the miles.

Running is my sanity and I can't help but transfer my running victories and lessons learned into my life. With so much time on the track,tread,trail, or road I get to do a lot of reflecting. I had a chat with my parents the other night and I was given some great insight. And amazingly very similar ideas about the "change up" became clear outside of my running shoes.

What I'm doing right now may be enough to satisfy others, but am I living to MY potential... to fulfill my destiny? Is the struggle to "make it work" giving back the energy to live life to the fullest?
If I want to experience all life has to offer I have to do what's best for me and that may be a life change-up. Why stay in a place because it's what I'm used to or to please others. Wow... looks like I need a few long runs to sort through all my thoughts! :)

 How about you:  do you question your placement, career, workout routine or hobbies... are you struggling to make it work?  Maybe the "change up" is exactly what you need too!

Smile on,
Jeni

Gear Check

Runners have varying philosophies on gear from high-tech to low key. Everyone has his/her own personal style. While gear may seem like a silly topic, stick with me for a bit.

If you see me out on a typical run this is probably what will stand out: smile, tall socks, and a braid. I'm not super flashy and I don't really pay much attention to my running gear. (so why devote the whole post?)

I've learned a few things over the past few years running. The biggest thing to running happy for me is to keep my feet happy. If I can keep those bad boys feeling great I can run on for miles. I'm not a big spender and shopping is definitely not my thing. But I will justify the $$ on good shoes. Sure it's great to match and coordinate a spiffy outfit but as long as I've got my shoes I'm good to go.
 
I have a saying I often use with my students and it continues to drift into my everyday life: "Set yourself up for success." To me, this means take care of the things I can control to give myself the best chances to be successful in my endeavour.

I like to set my gear out the night before a long run. It helps me focus some intention on the morning work. And let's face it... having things set out gives me a few more moments with my pillow before the day starts.  

I used to worry that I'd show up to a run with others and I wouldn't fit in. I wasn't as high-tech or dressed in the latest running fashions. This fear would cause me to doubt my running and my ability to connect with others. It would even keep me from going to some runs. I would sabotage myself with worrying about something as silly as gear!

So, my point is... gear is YOUR gear. Find what works for you and stick with it.

Beyond the running life, find what "gear" you need to make your experiences successful and your own.

I hope when people think back on me as a runner (and beyond) their memories won't be of my tall socks and mix-matched shorts/top but will be the "gear" of my kind spirit, connected conversation, and enjoyable miles together.
 
The gear of the soul..... is better than any brand, gadget, and high-tech toy.

taking the journey

Sometimes it just takes a simple 3 letter word to change everything...... "yes."

There may be fear, reservations, and thousands of reasons it would be easier to say no, but the act of saying "yes" can set you on a path that will lead to AMAZING life experiences.    

Take my mom for example: My sister, Jamie, made her mind up to run the Chicago Marathon in 2013. I immediately said YES can I tag along for the ride. My mom quietly, she's sneaky in a great way, contemplated joining the journey. I'm sure she had many reasons to say no. It's hard, I'm not in my 20s/30s, how can I fit in the training with my busy work schedule, etc. But as registration neared, she said YES.

Somehow the stars all aligned and the three of us all got into the Marathon (2 by lottery system).
Now I am so fortunate to have trained along side my mom and oldest sister for their first marathon. We shared laughs, tears, stress, joy, smiles, and maybe a few choice words.  We were a team.

 I got to experience lots of "firsts" with them. It is really incredible to have others accept you to share in their journey. I think my favorite was running my mom's first 20 miler. We had highs and lows (Like her music dying well before the end) but we made it through and I knew she would be ready for the marathon. I think I make a pretty good personal cheerleader/iPod if I do say so myself! Mom may have used some of those previously mentioned choice words ;)

Marathon day came and we gladly stuck together! I know people build up the event but I loved the day in day out runs of training. Time spent with some of my family, those memories stand out to me.

If you know me, you know I'm a sensitive soul and often commercials can get me teary eyed. However I can say I have never cried tears of joy finishing a race until crossing the line with my mom and Jamie. I was so proud and honored to have shared the miles. (Not just the 26.2 on race day but the journey that began several months prior)





(Photos from Chicago 2013)






6 Days after these photos I ran my first 50 mile event. People said I was nuts to run Chicago and turn around and run DPRT 50M. I kept telling people.... "How can you say no to running a marathon with your sister and MOM?!?!" I'm so glad I didn't listen to the naysayers. Sure, I didn't have the freshest legs and struggled throughout. But my mom and dad joined in with Steve along the course cheering me on (and giving me snacks). I finally rounded the final turn and saw Steve, my parents, and Jamie's clan (I had some fellow running club ladies that stuck around for me too!) I couldn't believe I was at the finish. I cried for my second race finish, not because I was in pain, but because I felt so incredibly loved and special. These moments can't happen with the "yes" so long before.

 

 
My mom and sis are returning the "yes" in running with me on my birthday run! It will be my mom's first trail race. Wow, how cool is it that I get to start my next 50 miler with my mom and oldest sis?! (Maybe we can even get Erin on board ;) )When I said this was my plan for my birthday weekend. They said.... "we'll be there." I'm a lucky lady.  So.... enough about me.....

Do you have a lingering feeling that you need more out of life? Is there something you having been thinking about and are struggling to say yes out of reservation or fear?

How can you take a chance on a new/challenging opportunity?
Life offers so much; sometimes in scary,sneaky ways.
It may just take you on the most amazing journey of your life.

Live more... smile through the challenge.... say YES!

The Joys of Winter Running

Mid-west winters.....  are one of a kind. We've been blessed the past couple of years to have pretty "easy" winters. This year we are getting our share of snow and cold temps. This can create a challenge for a
spring event training plan.  

Some would say.... too cold, too wet, too much snow....etc and skip out on the run.

I've found it's easy to find a way to make the runs happen with friends and goals kept in mind. I like to play tricks/games with myself to stay motivated and moving.

Too cold/dangerous to run outside? Stay indoors! I've found the fun in running the indoor track at the gym. As long as you can handle looping for hours you can get a long run in any kind of weather without the use of the treadmill.  One positive I found with the indoor track is that I run without my garmin. I just enjoy the time running without stressing pace. I still keep track of miles but with a fun, tech-free counting system from my awesome nephew, Jaelon. He is a rainbow loom expert (see pic below)

Sure, winter running has many challenges, don't get me wrong, but I don't mind this season for my training.

If you're a winter runner you'll understand: increased laundry, the extra time to bundle and de-bundle, running nose, and frozen eye-lashes, and the surprisingly still-there question "did I overdress?!"


But if you are a winter runner you also know the: quiet, peaceful mornings, the huge flakes catching your cheeks, the glitter of fresh powder, and the joy of fresh footprints on the trail.

 

Find what you love about the winter to help get though the next couple of months. Stay warm and enjoy life!